Let’s Talk about What If…? Episode 2-8

Have you ever wondered what the Abomination would look like as a 1600s aristocratic incarnation?

If so, I’ve got great news for you and Neil Gaiman.

Let’s talk about What If…? episode 2-8, the one where we roll back the clock half a millennium.

Last Time on What If…?

 

Remember how the Peggy Carter/Hydra Stomper episode ended?

The Watcher expressed confusion when a magical void suddenly appeared and sucked Captain Britain inside.

Now we learn where she went, as the episode starts with Loki performing Hamlet as a similar gap appears in the sky.

Before we get any deeper into this, I’ll add that Thor wants to throw rotten cabbages at Loki, something his queen, Hela, discourages.

So, we may be hovering around the same realm as in episode 2-7, the one where Hela redeemed herself while flirting with Shang-Chi’s dad.

What we know for sure (because the screen says it) is that the year is 1602.

Loki, quite the trooper, continues to recite dialogue as the void sucks him into the sky.

Suddenly, a lasso appears and stops him. Who is wielding that lasso? Why, it’s Peggy Carter!

Apparently, Scarlet Witch – the 1602 version of her – cast a spell to summon a defender of the people to this place and time.

Peggy Carter unintentionally answered that call and is now performing her usual heroics more than 400 years before she was born.

The void may fail with Loki, but it succeeds in pulling Hela into the sky. Peggy soars into the sky to save her but cannot.

Hela’s scepter, eerily similar to the one Loki uses in The Avengers, falls to the ground.

When Thor picks it up, he is proclaimed King Thor. And King Thor blames Peggy for Hela’s vanishing.

We’re two minutes into the episode, and we’ve already witnessed a failed abduction, a coronation, and a regicide.

Thor doesn’t appear to be the greatest king, either. He declares Peggy cursed and “summons the witch.”

Blaming the Victim

 

This seems like a good time to mention that the Scarlet Witch technically kidnapped Peggy, who definitely didn’t ask to be there.

Thor also isn’t thrilled with the Scarlet Witch, who summoned a “hero” who failed to protect Hela from danger.

King Thor is hard to please.

The Watcher narrates how Peggy finds herself all alone, “a failure and an outlaw in the dying universe she was summoned to save.”

His commentary grows bleaker from there, leading to something unexpected.

Peggy interjects, stating, “I can hear you, you know.” The Watcher…didn’t expect that.

Surprisingly, The Watcher, he who must not interfere, offers to return her to where she belongs.

Peggy deduces that her time and 1602 have stuck together like two pieces of gum, and she must un-stick them.

While The Watcher explains that universes sometimes die, Peggy simply counters, “Not on my watch.”

Back at court, Wanda argues that Peggy will yet save the day. Another individual, Sir Harold, disagrees.

Sir Harold is 1602 Happy Hogan. Earlier this season, Marvel made him the hero as the Abomination. This time, he’s the villain.

Someone who should be Happy’s friend, Tony Stark, helps Peggy Carter instead. Remember that he is a cad, and she is attractive.

Anyway, Tony knows who can help in the discovery of a “forerunner,” someone like Peggy from a different time.

That person proves to be Steve Rogers, who is pretty much Robin Hood, with Bucky Barnes and Scott Lang as merry men.

For Rogers, seeing Peggy causes an existential crisis, as she is the spitting image of his Maid Margaret, who recently died.

Peg is waaaay too happy that Rogers is recently widowed.

Soon afterward, in classic romantic action movie style, Peggy falls on top of Steve. And they both like it.

Court Battle

The Merry Men take Peggy to their “secret treehouse,” where Steve asks if Peggy had a Steve, which we know she did.

Before they can kiss or dance or anything else they’ve been edging toward doing since 2011 (arguably 1942), a bug bites.

 

Apparently, Happy, err, Sir Harold controls Yellow Jackets, which are like bunches of the Yellow Jacket villain from the Ant-Man franchise.

There is also a 1602 equivalent of the Destroyer, and Harold controls him.

Before the creature can destroy Peggy, she laments that Sir Harold is supposed to be friends with her and Stark.

Hilariously, Sir Harold takes offense at the thought of being friends with Stark. Then, he imprisons Peggy.

In her jail cell, Peggy asks whether The Watcher is watching. Of course, he is. It’s in his job description.

Peggy asks a few questions and then requests help. The Watcher obviously cannot do that.

Like the total badass she is, Peggy breaks the chains confining her and states, “If you’re not going to help me, get out of my way!”

Then, she wrecks some guards and finds the cellmate she seeks. It’s 1602 Bruce Banner.

What If…? gives him a “man in the iron mask” look which makes it that much better.

Bruce wants to be left alone like always. Since that wouldn’t help Peggy, she draws the fire of the king’s guards, thereby triggering The Hulk.

While Peggy has been imprisoned, Stark has built a Forerunner Finder device. It needs an Infinity Stone to charge it, though.

Yes, we’re heading back to the castle for a 17^th century showdown between Avengers fighting on both sides of the battle!

Happy Abomination Take Two

At court, Scarlet Witch notices another portal opening and states that the “storm is upon us.”

Peggy waits for the signal before attacking. As it turns out, that signal is The Hulk breaking everything in sight while shouting, “SIGNAL!”

Rogers challenges Hogan to a duel and does just well enough to cut the feather on Sir Harold’s hat.

This action enrages Hogan so much that he turns into 1602 Abomination.

As for Thor, he whips out the All-Father, which turns out to be a Vibranium sword. Yeah, that’s not good.

As everyone else fights, the Scarlet Witch nobly tries to stop the void from swallowing everyone. She’s the real hero here.

Hilariously, Sir Harold shouts 1600s insults the whole time he attacks The Hulk.

You just don’t hear the term “poltroon” enough in conversation these days.

Stark gains enough time to embed his device with an Infinity Stone, but it doesn’t work at first.

Thor starts to charge his thunder powers, forcing Peggy to say, “Tony! It is NOW OR NEVER!”

At this moment, the device works, and Peggy emerges with one of those Iron Man blaster gloves.

Since there’s an Infinity Stone powering it, the weapon also looks kinda like an Infinity Gauntlet.

Peggy doesn’t defeat Thor with this blast. Instead, the entire place glows green and reveals the Forerunner. It’s Steve Rogers.

Suddenly, Steve remembers a battle against Thanos. It’s the one from Avengers: Infinity War.

In this universe, Steve’s strike sliced the Infinity Stone from the gauntlet and sent him back to 1602.

Thor dictates that Peggy finish her task by killing Steve. She isn’t willing and laments, “We never get our happy ending.”

Steve says, “I’m sure somewhere out there, we do.” Then, he pushes the button for Peggy.

Final Thoughts

The next two shots show Peggy in an empty cathedral followed by a crowded 1600s tavern.

A light shows someone else entering the shot. Peggy presumes it’s The Watcher telling her she’s trapped.

Instead, as fate would have it, this scenario is much worse. The “reformed” soul-swallowing Dr. Strange appears.

Strange needs Peggy’s help and seems totally friendly. I’m sure we can trust him, right?

Alas, the answer proves to be no, but that’s a story for the final recap of season two, the one that really spits the bit.

Conversely, episode 2-8, 1602, is a pure delight and one I’ve already rewatched multiple times.

This is a top-five episode for the series. Season two is objectively better than season one.

Alas, the show will end with a whimper, not a bang, next time.

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