Let’s Talk about What If…? Episode 2-4
Something I adore about What If…? is that some episodes deviate greatly from the source material of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
For example, Doctor Strange went nuts and became the greatest threat to the multiverse at one point in season one.
Later, the Avenger returned to make amends by fighting an even greater threat.
I’m sure he’s totally redeemed and changed now. This is funny if you’ve already watched all of season two, I swear.
Then, we have episodes like the one we’re about to discuss, premises where only one little thing changes…but it matters greatly.
Let’s talk about What If…? episode 2-4, the one where Thor: Ragnarok happens without Thor.
That’s the Wrong Avenger
In this episode, Tony Stark discovers himself lost in space, just like we witnessed in The Battle of New York.
What if his salvation took a different form, though? In this universe, Tony Stark ports into a different realm entirely.
Specifically, Stark discovers himself on the same planet where Thor once became a gladiator.
Once again, the Grandmaster plays a role in the story, as the quirky ruler of Sakaar finds Stark captivating.
Let’s just say that the Grandmaster is thrilled to discover that “Mr. Metal Mojo Man” is in the palace. Dude’s not good with names.
Amusingly, Grandmaster sells Stark based on his reputation as the “defeater of Thanos,” which causes Stark to ask, “Who?”
Of course, Iron Man wouldn’t know that since Thanos never made it to Earth in this reality.
Instead, Stark finds himself playing the same role as Thor once did. The Avenger must stop the Grandmaster.
First, Tony must learn how evil this person is, and that starts with…a birthday party.
The Grandmaster swears he’s 21, and he’s throwing a party to celebrate.
If Tony doesn’t want to get melted, he must join the festivities, which prove to be…a drag race with some demolition derby elements.
The Grandy 500
Tony unwillingly watches the proceedings because the always-delightful Topaz threatens to melt him if he doesn’t obey.
The Grandmaster and Stark proceed to watch “intergalactic NASCAR,” which the villain perceives as a “chariot race.”
We watch parts of the race occur in the background, and the explosions immediately occur.
One driver proves more skilled and determined than the others. Oh yes, that’s Valkyrie.
While Robert Downey Jr. doesn’t voice Iron Man, we hear Tessa Thompson, Rachel House, and a giddy Jeff Goldblum. And they’re having a blast.
Valkyrie loses this race due to, well, bad luck and explosions. So, the disappointed crowd throws chinchillas at her. Yes, I’m serious.
The whole thing feels VERY Grandmaster in spirit, which I admire.
Valkyrie catches and semi-adopts a friendly chinchilla but then turns around and uses it as payment for a bottle of beer.
Also, Korg is there for some reason because why wouldn’t he be? But he’s not a very good driver.
A “friend” named Snuffy, who appears to be a three-mile tall mutant elephant, turns on Korg.
Iron Man “does the thing” by summoning his suit and zooming in to help. But his suit isn’t working right.
Do you know who saves the day? Yeah, it’s Gamora, although a voice actor rather than the real deal.
I definitely do not remember Gamora in Thor: Ragnarok, but it works here.
Stark uses the “any port in a storm” philosophy to forget about Pepper Potts and flirt with her.
The Grandmaster locks them into a romantic room together, but Tony escapes. Then, Gamora chases and tries to kill him.
Gamora appears to be a more severe (and competent) threat to Iron Man than Grandmaster thus far.
Unhappy Citizenry
The citizens of Sakaar are souring on the Grandmaster’s nebbish charms due to a slight problem with, well, famine and starvation.
While Grandmaster tries to unite them against Mr. Metal Mojo Man, Korg and Nebula grudgingly start to help Stark.
Korg’s explanation is that Grandmaster used him as a paperweight, forcing him to sit on paper, “which is my nemesis.”
As a reminder, Korg is made of rock. So, we’re tossing out Rock, Paper, Scissors jokes today, and I apparently need that in my life.
At a bar, Stark also befriends Valkyrie, who has regained possession of the Chinchilla.
Don’t sleep on that kawaii creature as the star of this episode. The animators had a lot of fun with the upbeat Chinchilla.
Still, the best part of this scene is the realization that Valkyrie would be Stark’s ultimate drinking buddy.
While Nebula finds her reason to fight for justice in a different setting, the other three work on…a supercharged space car.
Stark appears on a hologram and challenges Grandmaster to a race. Topaz correctly advises her boss to say no.
Alas, Grandmaster sets the terms as getting the Iron Man suit if he wins. Oh, and his car would make Vin Diesel jealous.
Also, Topaz joins the race as well, and she also ties up Gamora and forces her to compete, too. Why? Who knows. Just go with it.
The whole thing is just an elaborate excuse to do Fast & Furious in Space.
The graphics are shiny, the explosions are loud, and Stark makes for an oddly good salesperson in helping Nebula choose the light.
Campground Rules on Sakaar
Iron Man refers to “campground rules” about always leaving a place better than you found it.
There’s also an inspirational speech about daddy issues and how Nebula may have been a murderer yesterday, but who is she today?
While her moral compass bounces around, the race heats up, eventually causing Tony to, err, transform.
Yes, his Iron Man suit turns into…an intergalactic F-1 racecar.
If he could do that all along, a scene in Iron Man 2 no longer makes sense.
Still, Stark and his fellow Autobots roll out and swarm the Grandmaster on the racetrack.
As fate would have it, Snuffy had siblings whom Grandmaster releases on the track.
Just in the nick of time, Gamora chooses heroism and explodes them.
In the interim, Valkyrie gets knocked out of the race, and Korg was riding shotgun with her.
So, we’ve got a photo finish between Stark and Grandmaster, who I must add is wearing flip-flops while he drives.
Just when the villain appears likely to win, Tony triggers the Arc Reactor in his chest and juices his racecar/super-suit to victory.
Topaz arrives just as Grandmaster declares the race a tie. Her vehicle features the death ray we saw earlier.
When this thing touches you, it melts you. Conveniently, Valkyrie sideswipes her, causing the weapon to soar into the air.
When the melter lands, it touches Grandmaster’s flip-flop and disintegrates him.
Korg wins the episode with the quip, “He smells like bad life choices.”
Oh, and the Chinchilla is on Korg’s shoulder. Buddies4life!
As the heroes take it all in, the crowd’s chanting apparently works as a lightning election, declaring Valkyrie their ruler.
She seemed more than up to the task in Thor: Love & Thunder. So, I’ve got a good feeling about Sakaar.
Final Thoughts
Korg accepts a title of “special counsel to the king,” and then Valkyrie and Tony drink together some more.
As Stark prepares to return home, a surprise guest appears inside his spacecraft. It’s Gamora, come to take him to Thanos.
The Mad Titan states, “You never fail to amaze me, little one,” to his daughter.
Then, Thanos diminishes Iron Man just before Gamora springs into action with one of those melty death sticks.
The implication is that Nebula and Iron Man go straight to Thanos’s throne and kill him where he sits. That’s hardcore.
Of course, the episode stops right there as Thanos looks perplexed by his daughter’s life choices.
We may not have seen the last of this encounter, but if we have, Thanos lost.
Overall, this episode maintained the spirit, whimsy, and humor of Thor: Ragnarok, one of the best standalone Marvel stories.
I loved everything about it, even though parts of it are every bit as loud and dumb as a Fast and Furious or Transformers movie.
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