Let’s Talk about Agatha All Along Episode 1-1

During those frustrating early days of the pandemic, Disney+ saved Marvel fans from the doldrums.

The first Marvel television series ever on streaming debuted and quickly provided a much-needed distraction.

By the end of that mysterious, addictive season, fans had fallen in love with many characters. One of them stood apart, though.

WandaVision provided twist after twist, but the most shocking one of all came in the form of a song. It was this:

For more than three years now, Marvel has promised fans that we’d get more of that iconic character, Agatha Harkness.

Finally, that moment has arrived with not one but two episodes of the new Disney+ series starring your favorite MCU witch.

Let’s talk about Agatha All Along episode 1-1, the one with the (vaguely) unintentional kidnapping.

CSI: Westview

One of the most engaging conceits of WandaVision was the show’s willingness to mess with convention.

The various episodes of that series would mimic eras of television sitcoms.

So, I figured that with the same production team returning for Agatha All Along, something similar would occur, at least at first.

Sure enough, roughly half of the first episode involves the show’s title character…Agnes.

Yes, if you’ve forgotten, Agatha Harkness presented herself as Agnes the friendly but nosy neighbor of Wanda Maximoff.

By the end of WandaVision, we learned the truth, with the Scarlet Witch punishing her foe in a fitting manner.

Wanda sentenced “Agnes” to imprisonment in the town she’d tormented, Westview.

Agnes must live out her days as an impotent resident and, more importantly, a depowered witch.

Agatha All Along begins with “Agnes” driving her car to a crime scene in the woods.

Even though no music plays over her car stereo, she’s humming a tune. If you watched the D23 Expo presentation, you already know it:

Yes, we’re going to walk the witches’ (“possessive plural”) road, but first, Agatha must escape her current plight.

The former possessor of the nefarious Darkhold now thinks she’s…a police detective.

The first person she sees is Herb aka John Collins, whom you may remember cutting a wall in the third episode of WandaVision.

That’ll be a recurring theme here. Familiar faces from Westview reappear in different roles.

Are they trapped in Agatha’s nightmare, or is something else in play?

Crime Scene: Scene of the Crime

Agatha tosses off a slew of exposition that reveals her character as a currently suspended investigator.

Apparently, the good detective punched a suspect who was later convicted, which causes her to give off a “sorry, not sorry” vibe.

Since “Agnes” is used to weirdness on her job, she asks Herb about the victim.

He quickly gets off one of the best one-liners: “Oh, she’s really, most sincerely dead.”

We’re 20+ seasons into NCIS, and Gibbs has never been that funny.

Anyway, our detective searches the crime scene and eventually finds a brooch with the Triple Goddess on it: Maiden, Mother, and Crone.

Then, Agatha inspects the dead body, which lies face down by a stream, and asks two somewhat introspective questions.

“Who are you? What happened to you?” So, yeah, she’s not talking about the victim here, whose face we never see.

Since we’re doing cliché police procedural as the pastiche, Kathryn Hahn heads to the library and seems to forget what year it is.

That’s not a clue or foreshadowing anything. She’s just centuries old and not that tech-savvy.

After a brief encounter with Dottie from WandaVision, who is now the town librarian, Agatha discovers that a research book isn’t there.

That bookshelf – and only that bookshelf – has burned down in a fire. Dun dun dun!

This whole thing feels like an Angie Tribeca episode, by the way.

Anyway, after Hahn scarfs down a donut in 1980s cop show style, she meets with her boss, who hates her, and then encounters someone else.

Catching up with an Old Friend

The FBI has (apparently) arrived at the police station to assist on the case. It’s “Agent Vidal.”

This person is Aubrey Plaza, which means we know she’s bad news. The actress has gleefully hinted that she’s Agatha’s antagonist.

A two-pronged conversation unfolds wherein Agatha tries to remember why Agent Vidal seems so familiar.

Meanwhile, Vidal’s trying to figure out how far gone her own foe is.

Vidal works in the brilliant taunt of “Yeah, you’ve lived here your whole life. Isn’t that true, Agnes?” Agatha replies, “I don’t want you here.”

So, we’re sure that Vidal knows that Agatha’s reality is fake…and is amused by it. However, she seems to be trying to help.

Speaking of help, the book Agatha needs has a title of “Dialogue and Rhetoric: Known History of Learning & Debate.”

Later that workday, Agatha looks at this name and solves the level one riddle. The first letters spell Darkhold. Yeah, that’s bad.

A few quick camera shots imply that a child named Nicholas Scratch once lived here and was surprisingly good at Children’s Concert Choir.

We haven’t even met The Teen yet, and I’m already wondering if he is Nicholas Scratch.

The show’s implication is that she’s a haunted detective and single mother who has apparently lost her child somehow.

That’s a fitting punishment from Wanda Maximoff, presuming she’s the cause of it. Agatha also might be doing this to herself.

Agatha isn’t home alone for long, though. Agent Vidal appears, which doesn’t surprise either of them.

Vidal again probes Agatha’s memory about where she’s traveled…and she cannot remember anything.

The conversation leads to Vidal asking our protagonist whether she remembers why she hates her guest. Again, Agatha cannot remember.

Vidal closes with, “You’re only lying to yourself.”

Home Invasion?

We’re about to delve into the weirder parts of the show as Agatha hears a noise upstairs. It’s The Teen.

Once he spots Agatha, The Teen flees on foot, but the detective ultimately catches him, just like every 70s show cop chase always ends.

We cut to the police station where an interrogation ensues. Vidal watches from behind the one-way mirror as Agatha presses The Teen.

The boy reveals that he’s intimately familiar with “Agnes” and is seeking her help to reach The Road.

Agatha grows angry with The Teen and shows him pictures of the dead body. After a moment, he points out that she’s showing flowers.

Similarly, The Teen asks Agatha why she keeps looking at a painting. Yup, there’s no longer a one-way mirror there, and Vidal has disappeared.

These parts are fairly predictable, but what happens next isn’t. The Teen starts chanting in Latin, as the scenery briefly changes.

His spell seems to weaken the hex’s power, at least for a moment, but the curse hasn’t been lifted yet.

First, Agatha must visit the morgue and reexamine the body. At this point, the name W. Maximoff appears on a printout.

Vidal materializes and says, “Claw your way out.” Agatha starts stripping off her clothes from her ridiculous detective ensemble.

Then, she appears in a couple of the outfits she wore in WandaVision, including that silly aerobics outfit.

Finally, “Agnes” falls down for a moment, only to reemerge in black and white.

Vidal confidently states that there are two victims in the case. One is Maximoff, but who is the other?

At this moment, the writing above Maximoff reveals A. Harkness, and we drop the Agnes façade permanently. She’s baaaaaack!

Agatha All Along

Agatha enters the light, which proves to be sunlight entering her living room window. She suddenly remembers everything and lets out a primal scream.

A very naked Agatha walks across the street to interrogate Herb about how long she’s been in Westview. It’s been three years.

Agatha mutters, “Wanda.” Herb quickly retorts, “We try not to say her name.”

Herb goes on to describe her recent behavior as erratic, “Almost as if you’ve been bitten by the true crime bug.” This affliction is affecting more and more women each year.

Anyway, Agatha embarrasses herself again with Dottie and Dottie’s husband, who had been Agnes’ Chief of Police.

A furious Agatha dismisses the entire community of Westview by saying, “This is where hope goes to die.” That joke feels like it’s been in the making for four years now.

Agatha returns to her home, finally puts on a robe, finds Mister the Rabbit, and realizes the Darkhold is gone.

The witch describes her plight as follows: “I got mugged, Mister. She took every little bit of power I had and left me with household appliances.”

Soon afterward, Vidal appears again, thankful to know that the real Agatha is back. Now, Vidal can finally kill her.

The two women fight, but it’s not a fair contest. Vidal still has her powers. Wanda has stripped Agatha of hers.

Impressively, Agatha uses this knowledge to her advantage. She implores Vidal to wait until she’s at full strength. Otherwise, where’s the fun?

Agatha also finds The Teen locked in a closet. Her arrest of him was, in actuality, a kidnapping. Fortunately, the kid really is a fan and needs her.

Final Thoughts

Before leaving Agatha, Vidal reveals that The Salem Seven will arrive at sundown. We’ve seen them before, and Agatha didn’t treat them well.

So, Vidal taunts Agatha with the knowledge that after all this time, she’s about to die.

Spoiler: She’s not. We’ve got eight more episodes to go, and she’s the title character.

But showrunner Jac Schaeffer has set the table for a meaningful mini-boss fight in the next episode.

That’s how well-structured this entire episode has been. It’s meticulous and clever.

Agatha All Along’s premiere features tributes to some of the best ideas from WandaVision.

Then, the story adds new mysteries, puzzles we’ll unlock in future episodes.

We waited nearly four years for this, but I’m thrilled to report it was more than worth the wait.

I’d say I can’t wait to watch the episode, but you’d know I was lying.

Like the rest of you, I immediately started the second episode and binged it, too. So, that recap is coming tomorrow!

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