Let’s Talk about Agatha All Along Episode 1-3

So, here we are. Agatha Harkness has finally escaped Westview after what seemed like an eternity.

Alas, the grass is not always greener on the other side. Or maybe I should say down below since that’s where Agatha is in Westview.

Then again, maybe she’s no longer in Westview at all. That probably seems right given what happened at the end of the last episode.

Agatha and her fellow witches summoned a mystical door that presumably leads to the fabled Witches’ Road.

And that’s where we begin this week. Let’s talk about Agatha All Along episode 1-3, the one with the wine you shouldn’t drink.

The Road That Tries to Kill You

We knew two things about Agatha All Along before it began. One is that it’ll be Halloween-appropriate. So, it’ll be creepy.

The other is that as the spiritual (get it?) successor to WandaVision, it’ll include lots of clues and even more red herrings.

Those start tonight, and they center on The Teen, who the other witches quickly learn cannot reveal his personal details due to a Sigil.

This is news to him…or at least he acts that way. We really shouldn’t take any of these things at face value.

Along those lines, Agatha claims that she has previously walked the Witches’ Road, but she’s an unreliable narrator.

The other witches definitely believe Agatha has done so, but we can’t be sure.

So, when the witch acts a certain way, we naturally wonder whether she knows something awful is about to happen.

Speaking of which, Sharon Davis, aka Mrs. Hart, is about to have a bad episode.

Drafted at the last minute, Mrs. Hart was enjoying herself during the singing portion of the previous episode.

Now that she finds herself on the Witches’ Road, she perceives her plight as “a kidnapping.”

Mrs. Hart attempts to call the local authorities, only to discover that there’s no cellphone service in this particular layer of The Abyss.

The other witches also wonder aloud about the things that chased them down here. Correction: Chased Agatha down here.

This coven’s other members are having second thoughts about agreeing to join the fair lady Harkness on her quest.

And then the murders began.

Stay on the Path

Mrs. Davis, “a member of the Westview Historical Society” is kinda flighty. Maybe you noticed.

She questions much of what she’s witnessing, presuming that none of it is supernatural.

Then, the WandaVision co-star wanders from the math and quickly finds herself in peril.

When Mrs. Davis drops her purse, the mud swallows it. Undeterred, the woman attempts to retrieve it.

At this point, the mud begins to swallow her as well. She would have died here – which may be important – if not for the intervention of Alice Wu-Gulliver.

So, coincidentally or not, the Protection Witch has already done her job once on this assignment.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Davis looks like she just had a rough encounter with Swamp Thing, or, since this is Marvel, I guess I should say Man-Thing.

As she gazes in horror at her muddy arms, the other women notice a lovely mansion in the distance. It’s a source of shimmering light.

Since the Witches’ Road has been a dark place until now, this confuses some members who wonder if the house was there before.

Agatha composes herself before responding, “We should stop asking that question.” It’s probably good advice.

So, the witches follow the road to a sweet piece of real estate, one they quickly learn has doors that won’t re-open.

This mansion quickly becomes their stylish, impeccably detailed prison.

The First Trial

This gets trippy right at the start. The disheveled Mrs. Davis is the last to enter the mansion.

When she does, her swamp-arms are instantly clean, and she discovers she’s wearing a new outfit. They all are.

Yes, the coven members have styled themselves for a beachy photo shoot as The Real Housewives of Witches’ Road. They’re okay with this.

Soon afterward, The Teen discovers a formal invitation – in lovely paper stock! – to the First Trial.

The riddle, if you could call it that, is: “My age has value. I’m no fun alone. Mess with your mind. My tricks are well-known.”

Soon afterward, a bottle of wine reveals itself. So, the trick here isn’t to solve the riddle. It’s to figure out how the wine will kill you.

No, there’s not a walk of shame and messy divorce in the offing. This particular wine fallout involves poison.

Jennifer Kale, the Potions Witch, is up to bat. First, she converses with The Teen, as the show puts it right out there.

Agatha gave away her child in exchange for The Darkhold, with some wondering if that kid would ever seek revenge.

Maybe the former baby has become a demon or is in league with Mephisto. And, yes, WandaVision fans! They actually say Mephisto!

While Kale determines the type of poison being used, the witches display symptoms. First, their faces turn bloated and gigantic.

As they suffer, a digital clock counts down from 30 minutes. Mrs. Davis is the first one to suffer this affliction, and so she is cured first.

Yes, the effects are temporary, but that’s not the story here. It’s just a distracting but funny sight gag.

The Witches’ Plight

Agatha refuses to drink at first, which puts her on a different timeline. Her behavior underscores her selfishness.

The witch waits until her peers are suffering so that she has more information. She appears unwilling to drink at all.

Then, the other coven members notice and cajole her into drinking the last sip of wine, which magically refills into a full glass.

Apparently, the Witches’ Road offers free refills. That’s good. But the wine is poisoned. That’s bad.

And wine really does have Potassium Benzoate, Simpsons fans! So, the prophecy is being fulfilled!

The second symptom is the one that matters most for storytelling purposes. It’s the hallucinations. Each witch who drinks experiences a vision personal to them.

The only one who avoids this fate is The Teen, who is too young to drink. Yes, they’re carding on the Witches’ Road.

Anyway, Kale identifies the poison as Alewife’s Revenge. She needs spell components to craft an antidote.

As the coven members seek individual components, each one hallucinates.

The Protection Witch encounters her mother, who relays the information that their mother/grandmother has just died.

Now, the curse falls on the mother, who tells Alice that she cannot break it.

Kale hallucinates that a creepy-looking 19th-century doctor tries to drown her.

Lilia Calderu sees a little girl dressed in a Victorian-era dress – I think – direct her to a new locale. Later, she comes back screaming in Sicilian.

Mrs. Davis doesn’t see anything because she has fainted from all the terrors. She’s not adapting well.

At the worst possible time, Agatha suffers her illusion, which is a crying baby in a carriage. It’s a gorgeous little…Darkhold. Eep.

Solving the First Puzzle

There’s a subplot unfolding here where three characters randomly say things that appear to be time-fractured.

So, we’re simultaneously witnessing elements of what’s probably either the Second or Third Trial, an idea we’ll explore in a week or two.

For now, the most pressing problem, other than the poison, is the cracked window.

A furious Agatha has thrown her glass, thereby causing a crack in the otherwise impervious window.

Then, the backdrop changes from the beach to underwater, and the fissure allows water to seep in. They’re gonna drown soon if they don’t act!

The coven springs into action, working as a unit to craft the potion. During this sequence, The Teen proves shockingly competent.

This may mean something, or it may be a play on how much smarter Gen Z is.

Anyway, the witches need two final components, one of which Kale initially forgets. They pull a single strand of hair.

The bubbling cauldron aka sink changes color, but it’s not quite right. Kale realizes she needs the blood of the unpoisoned.

Agatha grabs a knife and cuts The Teen’s hand. That seems important in that it establishes he’s not really a part of this.

Also, if he is Mephisto or a devil or an agent of dark forces, he’s somehow still pure enough for spell purposes.

Remember that the other witches, especially Agatha, wouldn’t let him drink. I think it’s a red herring, but I’m keeping an eye on it.

Thankfully, this addition perfects the antidote and automatically triggers what I can only describe as an escape room-ish exit.

The coven members must crawl into an oven, which Sylvia Plath, the witch in the gingerbread house, and I know is a bad idea.

Final Thoughts

The witches make their great escape through the oven, but there’s a body count.

The unconscious Mrs. Davis doesn’t make the journey successfully. She’s dead with her eyes wide open. It’s creepy.

Now, this may be a swerve in that she could be comatose. I suspect that’s the case, but there’s more in play here.

On the one hand, she might pop right back up at the start of the next episode.

Conversely, the trick with the Witches’ Road might be that a witch dies during each trial.

Speaking of trials, Mrs. Davis is the Green Witch…and we haven’t gotten to the Green Trial yet. So, her absence would be problematic.

We also have the weirdness that Agatha gives Kale a pep talk during the final moments of the First Trial.

Kale remains bound, but she rediscovered her confidence thanks to the unusually helpful Agatha. That was strange.

Along those lines, Agatha was oddly protective of The Teen throughout the episode. I’d almost describe her behavior as…maternal.

So, yeah. We’ve got plenty of mysteries brewing on the Witches’ Road.

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